6 Things You Should Be Doing With Your Spouse That You Probably Aren’t

 
                                                          picture source:-  good men project
Anyone who’s been in a marriage knows that it’s challenging, even when the relationship is good. If you’ve been feeling like something hasn’t been quite right lately, it could be because there are things to do in the relationship that you’ve been letting slide or simply not doing at all. While many of us know the traits of a successful marriage, we often find ourselves still falling short in many of these areas. It’s not that we lack the time or the know-how, but we often lack the focus to be intentional in our marriages. While this might sound discouraging, the great thing is that there are things we can do to make our marriages better and stronger before it’s too late. The most important thing is that you recognize when there’s a problem and understand what you might be doing to contribute to it. Here are six things you should be doing with your spouse.

Show Your Partner That You Appreciate Them

You may think your spouse knows how much you appreciate them, but not telling or showing your partner how much you value them can make them feel like you don’t care, or that you take them for granted. This is especially common after the honeymoon phase of a relationship. You don’t have to do something grandiose to show your partner that you appreciate them. It can be something as simple as sending a cute text message, offering them hug when they walk in from work, or giving them a small “just because” gift. You’ll be surprised how much showing your partner a little extra love and appreciation can impact your relationship.

Keeping Your Partner’s Private Life, Private

It is one thing to confide in family and friends about issues that are showing up in the marriage, but it’s another thing when you’re spreading private details about your partner and personal matters with others. You should treat your partner’s private life with respect, especially when it comes to friends and mutual acquaintances. When you don’t keep their business private, you’re betraying your partner. Ask yourself would you be OK with his friends being told the same things you’re sharing? What happens in any relationship is between the two people involved, no one else. You don’t need anyone else’s opinion, just your own. Respect your partner and keep private details to yourself.

Be Open All the Time

It’s easy to keep our thoughts and feelings inside when something bothers us or when we’re worried it will upset the other person. But one of the best things you can do in your marriage is openly communicate with your partner, even when it’s embarrassing. Even if you feel like your partner won’t respond well to what you have to say, they will appreciate your honesty over anything else. This helps eliminate confusion and misunderstandings. Being completely transparent with your partner is not everyone’s strong suit. It takes practice and determination to get it right, but when you do, it will make your relationship all the better.

Use “I” Statements, Especially During Arguments

Don’t use accusatory “you” statements in your marriage. Instead, use “I” statements. Nobody likes to be told what to do, and when you use “you” language plus a directive during an argument, it’s easy for resentment and defensiveness to show up. The great thing about “I” statements is that they reduce blame by taking ownership of your feelings. When you use them, you are telling your partner why you are upset in a particular situation. These statements will not only empower you, but also reduce perceptions of manipulation in your communication.

Speak Each Other’s Love Language 

Learning the way you and your partner express and interpret love is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Whether your marriage is in a really strong place or a really weak place, knowing each other’s love language will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts,” encourages you and your partner to discover each other's love language so that you can understand how you both communicates and loves best. Once you know your partner’s love language, you will know what makes them tick and respond accordingly.

Praying Together

Every time you and your spouse pray separately for one another, great things happen. But when you pray together, the power of that prayer increases tremendously, along with the results. Going to God in prayer as a couple can benefit your marriage in so many ways. All marriages have problems because they are made up of two imperfect people. But when God is added to the equation, then you have unlimited possibilities for drawing closer to what He intended for your marriage. God can work on any problem in your marriage, or any matter of the heart if you invite Him in to do so.

Making each other happy in a marriage all the time is no easy feat. There are things married couples are doing every day to make each other happy, but there are also things married couples should be doing that they aren’t. If you care about your marriage and want to see it grow, consider doing these six things.

By Lesli White 

Source:-beliefnet